THE RED RING...

I don't know if I wrote about the red ring or not.....But I remember the first time I coveted something!...It was a red ring. I was in first grade at half days in Lebanon Jr. High while our new grade school was being built. Mrs Bush my first grade teacher was horrid. She gave me my first spanking. Needless to say, she was not on my favorites list!...My first grade was full of so many problems. This year impressed me to count it as "one of the worst times of my life" even at 5 years old. But a memory of that year sticks in my mind. Linda Laskovich was in my first grade class. She wore a beautiful red, shiny, stone ring on her middle finger. It was surrounded in gold. This ring drew my eye and I so wanted a ring like that. When the sun shined in the window, it sparkled on the stone and made it ever so much more inviting!...Along with that horrible year. There was a cute boy named Doug..I don't remember his last name but I had a big crush on him. He was very tall, blond and dressed very nice. He was much taller than I was. Even at six years old, I was the shortest person as well as the youngest in my classes...This was true throughout all of my school years, even into high school. But back to Linda and her ring...I tried so hard to get her to let me wear her ring. I just wanted to have that ring. It was so beautiful and shiny, but she would never let me even try it on. She said, her mother would be mad. I am guessing, now looking back, it was a birthstone and a gift. She treasured that ring but not as much as I didn't...and she would not let it out of her sight. Besides that she had really nice clothes and her hair always looked beautiful. Her hair was dark and shiny and she wore very nice clothes. I guess I was jealous even at 6 years old because of the way she not only looked but the way she made me feel. I knew it was because I lived in a trailer court and we were considered "trailer trash" by all those who lives in normal homes. I never felt like trailer trash and didn't know why others called us that!!..but that never bothered me. The thing that did bother me was that Linda and Doug were a thing, not only did she have this beautiful ring but she had the eye of the boy I liked...I remember even at such a young age how I coveted her life...her ring and her life...I asked for a ring for Christmas or my birthday that year...and I got a birthstone ring. A garnet, not quite as big or shiny or as red as Linda's but it was a very nice ring and I loved it...I wore it, spun it around on my finger and treasured it...until one day while riding home from Dormont with my Dad on a Saturday afternoon...I had it in my mouth and bit it in half....I broke my ring, my birthstone ring...My mother was not happy!!! She took it from me and I never saw it again..And as far as Doug..I guess he went off to a life full of Linda Laskovich's.....and I ended up with an obsession of rings!! Not all red but rings none the less!!! In fourth grade after moving to Cooperstown...I had another episode of total ring fever....this time it was an opal ring. Royene Sterling had a beautiful opal ring...it probably was a birthday or Christmas gift...I wanted a ring just like that...the opal moved in the light as opals can do...and it fascinated me...One day, I asked her to wear it..and she let me. At the end of the day, I wore it home..She had forgotten I had it and I was happy to go home with her ring on my hand. The next day, I forgot to take it back to school, on purpose. I thought perhaps she would forget I had it...and I could keep it!!...But after a many days her mother called my mother and I was forced to return it to her at school!!...Oh how I wanted that opal ring!!...So when I grew up and got a job, after buying everyone in my family a gift....one of the first rings I ever purchased for myself was an opal ring...I still have that ring, it has a big crack in it but when I wear it, it reminds me of how something, material like a ring can lead you down a road of evil ways. To lie, cheat, and covet something that doesn't belong to you. It starts so innocently in a little ring, that shines like the sun!!!

WE LEARNED WISDOM AFTER THE FACT....

Now that I am older and consider myself wiser. I have learned whenever you want something done. It is best you either entrust it to someone you are sure will do a better job than you, or you will do it yourself!...I have wasted so many moments in my life screaming orders and requests to people that have no intentions of doing ..nor do they even hear what I am yelling. I know now when you speak...speak softly and carry a BIG stick. Getting another person attention doesn't necessarily work when you speak louder or more often. Having six kids seasoned me for this exact practice. I would request something like..."Please run the vaccuum cleaner today" and name the person I wanted to have do it...but on my return it seemed nobody had any idea of what I said, or to whom I said it!!!...Frustrated, I would find myself yelling louder and repeating the request 2 or 3 times..threaten, and scream..and still it wouldn't be done. Or it was done so fast and mismanaged it would have been better left alone. I offered incentives, rewards, and even over and above payment. Still the commitment was not fulfilled to my satisfaction. What I learned about this is people (including my own children) do what they want and they do it when they want regardless of the recompense. My mother for example would speak and we would not listen. She ended up doing everything herself. I look back now and see how I could have been a help to her....but she really didn't seem to mind. And without a word...she would finished the chore, on her own. On the other hand, my father said something ONCE...with a tone in his voice that said..."This better be done or else"...instantly you knew it was a priority in your life to obey!!...but why wouldn't we obey my mother as well...Growing up parents are manipulated and formed into obedience from their children from the beginning. The cry, we obey. They smile, we fold into a crumble.. They know after a short time just how to get everything they want and they know how to do it!!! The joy of motherhood is a two fold one. The joy of having a family and children is to be able to convenience yourself you are able. You love and nurture them...trying to teach and give them a true sense of who they are. But, self worth is a bit harder to nurture....I don't believe I ever conquered the secret to provide this in my children. My expectations weren't high enough and for this reason they suffered with many unfulfilled goals. Lives that are hanging in the balance of good and evil. Someone told me once I expected too little of my children...and now I know they are correct. If I asked to have the vacuum cleaner run and it wasn't done in two, three days, I then would do it myself and complain the entire time about nobody listening to me...and doing what I asked!..My mother never really asked me to do much of anything, that I can remember. We did wash dishes at one point my sister and I. But usually as things go..it would last for a time and then for whatever reason the chore would cease and we would be back to my Mom doing everything. I mowed the grass, but always got yelled at for mowing over the wild roses...by accident. I wish I knew the secret to keeping that expectation mode in check for my grandchildren. However, my time has passed and now it is time to sit back and watch those children I spent so many hours yelling and performing tasks that were long overdue and neglected to be passed on to my grandchildren...I see now, the error of my ways, and would love to be able to screw off my childrens heads and place the "WHAT I KNOW, BUT NEVER TAUGHT YOU" button inside of them so they won't look back and see they have made the same mistakes I made. Seems life takes on the role of "HARD KNOCKS" and that includes all generations!! AND SO IT GOES!!

CHILDREN AND PARENTS...

It seems we make our choices when we get older but when we are children we are subject to our parents choices. When you are a child you go along with whatever your parents decide and never think anything about things being what they should or shouldn't be. You trust your parents always do the right things and you will spend every day of your young life standing up for what they do. You accept them and are sure anything they do is for you best interest. You would never think they are trying to do anything to hurt you or make your life miserable. This is why so many children are found in situations of terrible peril. Their parents choices reflect their futures...good and bad! When we moved from West Mifflin to Cooperstown as children we were excited about the move. Knowing we could live in the country with land, have pets and no close neighbors. We learned to live a completely different life than the one we lived in the trailer park. We had no close friends. We had no neighbors. We had no playmates. When we moved my little sister was very small. She was three years old and remembers very little of the change. However, I remember a lot of the turmoil that came along with the huge move. The clearing the ground, the well being drilled, the confusion of lives turned inside out. We all were like fish out of water. My father was never a farmer and my mother has always live in the city. She was raised in the West End of Pittsburgh were there were trolley cars, buses, and city life. My father worked at Pittsburgh Outdoor and worked on huge billboards when he and my mother were married. He was from upper North Side and when he and my mother were neighbors at one point, they fell in love. She was 19 and he was 23. My mother spent much of her time doing what young girls do. Ice skating, playing instruments with friends on a weekend night. Life was so much more social back in 1934. People visited one another, the teens pulled taffy, made popcorn and played board games. They spent their time at home with friends. Life was simple and less complicated in so many ways. My mother had two sisters, Anna and Alice. She was the youngest. My father had a younger sister. Alice was two years younger and a stepbrother, Tom. He was 18 years older than Dad. He was born to my Grandma Davis from an earlier relationship or marriage. My father was responsible for everything his little sister Alice did. He was to watch her and take care of her. When he was 6 years old, his father, Brooks Curry died in the flu epidemic of 1918. He was an alcoholic and those days, alcohol was used for medicinal purposes. His body was so immuned to alcohol it left him vulnerable for the influenza to take over his body and attacked his organs. My father hated his father. He told us his father came home drunk every night and beat him with a slipper. He never told him why, he just told him it was for what he was thinking of doing. When my grandfather, Brooks Curry, died, my father had nothing but hatred for him. He actually was glad he was dead!..I thought that was one of the saddest things I had ever heard! My father at six years old the brunt of a drunkards insecurities of himself. For a six year old to have to face the consequences of an adult life and accept those mature responsibilities forced onto him. Perhaps that made my father try to be a better father. He strived to be the man that his father never could be....I am sure he suffered as children do when they are ponds in the game of life that adults make for them!!!

A LIFE CHANGE

One of the strange things about life is looking back..and seeing where you've been. Questioning your choices. Wondering if decisions you made would have changed your destiny and taken you down a different path. Just how would that have influenced your life...I do believe in free will, I also believe that what happens has a purpose. It is our choice. We somehow are driven and guided to learn something from whatever circumstance we find ourselves. I guess you could say...we need to bloom where we are planted!! But wondering if our seed would have fallen on different ground...in a different place if our life would have taken a different turn. We are who we are because God made us who we are!!!...We have a desire to place our lives according to his will if we choose. However, so many people, so many times decide not to seek to belong and run off down their own path. I know many times I did that exact thing without much thought about if it was the right thing or not. I always paid for it somehow, some way..We have a mind of our own and we do the things we want and not what we should...This is the reason why my life has been such a mixture of constant striving to be who I turned out to be today. Good or bad I am who I am and now probably won't change. We are all given a measure of faith and it is up to us to exercise it...We can let it stay dormant or we can increase it by hearing and listening to the giver of all faith...God! I consider it like a muscle, use it or lose it!! That is how I see faith. If you don't use it..you will not have any. God has given us that measure and it is up to us to make it grow by reading the Word of God and praying and trusting...with those things our faith grows and we become an instrument of a loving and caring God. These things that you will read on my blog are true stories of my life..they are things I think and feel. Some you may not like and feel they are private and should not be public, but my life is an open book. God gave it to me..to do with as I like. It anything I might say in my blog helps one person, then my life made public has been worthwhile. If there is one person that can grow, or see their way though a difficult time by what I write here than it has all been worth it. So don't judge me for what I write in this blog. It is an instrument to be used to let you see human beings are imperfect. We are needing help. We came into this world naked and we are leaving the same way. Only what has be presented to us through our Heavenly Father and what we have done with it...is the theme. I am a sinner, saved by grace. I know that!! I accept my Heavenly Fathers love for me. I trust He knows me better than I know myself. I also know that He is in contol. I am now owned and operated by the Holy Spirit that dwells inside of me. He is my all in all. Where He takes me I will follow. It is not man who judges me..it is God and God alone. I am in love with him. He is my world!! So read my blogs with an open heart and let the Holy Spirit minister to you by the words of my life....as He has given me!!

THE NIGHT OF THE LIVING DUCKS...

This being Fathers Day, I can't help but to share this story of the time my Mother and Father almost got divorced...Now you might say, "What does that have to do with Fathers Day?" This leads me to the contents of my blog!.. While the MacAnnys were our friends with all their animals..they must have shared a few of their ducklings with us. We built a large circle of wooden fence held together with wire. Placed a large turkey roaster in a pre dug hole. This substituted as their lake for swimming. We now had three ducks, the first was a male we named him Sassy..he was my older sisters duck that had survived a prior Easter. My Quack Quack had seen the light and buried up at Mae and Franks Cottage. Sassy thought he was the boss of the other two ducks who later joined the little group. They were Mac and Annie... We knew Sassy was a male because male ducks have one feather on their tail that curls up away from the others and the females don't..Mac and Annie were probably both females because they eventually laid eggs!! And they didn't have the odd feather..Sassy was much smaller then the other two..We enjoyed watching them make the mud in the circle that was their home. They slopped water through their beaks until all the grass had turned so sloppy mud. The rain that continued to fall helped as well..The water pump was up a small grade away from the trailer. It had been raining and all the ground was soggy. So we would not to be walking in the mud, my Mother devised this walk way from the trailer to the pump out of boards. Old boards that had aged and cracked from the weight of those that trailed up to the pump. We filled buckets and hauled them down to the trailer for use. This day the boards were soaked with the rain. The ducks continually escaped their fence and would parade through the yard for grass...Now if you have never had a duck you can't realize just how much waste they make...The drop the biggest globs of slimy goo you have ever seen..and they are no respecters of where they do it..So walking, eating, and dropping all over the yard and the boards, we were victim of poop abuse!!..This day, my father traveled to the pump to gather two buckets of water...filled to the brim, he turns and continues down the soft, wet, slippery boards. Unaware of his footing..and where he was walking, he stepped and slid off the boards into the mud. The buckets flew in the air and came down on my father. Now my father you could say, had no sense of any kind of humor!! And didn't consider this anything but death to the ducks...Leaving the now empty buckets and soaked to the skin and covered with mud...He runs for as many ducks as he can catch screaming...."I am going to wring your necks"...and he meant every word..While he chased the ducks around the yard..grabbing and sliding in mud, duck crap and anything else that was on the ground. Words coming from his mouth could only be considered X rated!!..My mother wondering what was taking my father so long at the pump, looked out to see him running around grabbing to kill the ducks...I guess you could say he had reached that point of impatience where there was no reason!!!...My mother screaming at a level of shrill that a mother can do. "If you kill those ducks, I am leaving you!!..If you kill those ducks that's it. I am done" she screamed over and over..."I am leaving" and she meant it!!..My father, as mad as a hornet..dropped the duck he held in his hands. Seconds away from putting him into ducky heaven. Came into the house and didn't speak to anyone for a few days..Mother finished the water hauling job and for a few days we had a small amount of peace and quiet..with no fighting!!..As hard as it was, we never mentioned the fate of those ducks for many years passed...Eventually it become one of those stories everyone lived on at any family get together...Now I can look back and see the desperation of life my poor Dad had to spend everyday in...and I can only say, The past is over and forgotten..and now that you are gone...we are all still left with the memory of the night of the Living Ducks..Thanks for the memories!!!

WHEN YOUR A CHILD AND YOUR POOR, YOU DON'T KNOW IT!!

I now as an adult can look back at the wonderful childhood I had. Realizing at this point and time how terribly poor we were. How even a small bottle of cola and small bag of potato chips were like the best thing in the world. Somehow my parents made friends in our new surroundings. Usually by being in need and asking for help I would imagine. God knew just the people to bring into our lives to bless us..when we didn't even know his name!!..There was the little grocery store call Luethharts. It was owned by a women and her husband and brother. They allowed my mother to buy food and not pay. We had a charge on a paper bill we paid from time to time. I am sure what we owed always out weighed what was paid. But we survived..sometimes on canned gravy and noodles. Sometimes on canned creamed corn and bread. The only meat we got was usually from a couple of wonderful people at the bottom of our hill. I don't know how my parents befriended them...maybe our car broke down and the gentlemen came out to help us. Eventually they became family friends. They were wonderful. They had no children. Probably in their 60's and had animals everywhere. Geese, little banny chickens and regular ones, ducks, cats everywhere, goats and lambs to eat the grass. They had a few cows...They were what we would call a gentleman farmer!...I can still see her face and the way she talked. Her name was Annie. Her teeth kind of pointed and broken in the front. When she spoke she had a lisp that allowed sprays of saliva to push out between the broken part of her front teeth. She always wore red lipstick and her hair was always tied up with a scarf..When she spoke her voice always had a kind smile in it..you knew you were always welcome. Her husband Mac was heavy in the stomach, I think he smoked and drank a lot. He usually sat in a living room over stuffed rocker watching television, not much for conversation especially children s. Looking back now, I am sure these animals were Annie's doing!!..We would spend a lot of time there and she taught us all so much about so many things...Farming, gardening, animals and things that we would need to know later on to survive..After all we were city people and never had any idea how to grow an ear of corn...Perhaps it was the eggs my parents went to Pittsburgh to sell that led them to the MacAnnys. This turned out to be their last name, but everyone called them Mac and Anny..We all learned about raising chickens of our own..all about animals and farming..so for whatever reason they were our friends...Friends we had a lot to learn from and ones we would never forget. They were kind, helpful, and loving. They gave us food, most of which was out of their freezer and old. I remember my mother crying sadly saying people think we will eat their freezer burnt meat because we don't have any...but the fact of the matter was...we didn't eat it...my mother would throw it away!!!... We would eat spaghetti with butter on it for dinner!!..This was a time when I began to learn when you share or give anything to someone..don't give them the stuff you don't want...Give them your best..the biggest..and you take the least...this is the "Christ like" way..and with this concept, we all had alot to learn!!

THE DOUBLE DEXTER WASHING MACHINE...

Can it ever be said, that looking back so many things that happened to you when you were just the smallest of a human being has prepared the way for where you are now!! I know it is true for me..My entire life has been like a puzzle laid out on a big table and one piece at a time was placed just in the perfect spot...Many pieces had to be spun around and tried several different ways but in the end..the perfect spot was found and the piece fit correctly...things I now see were just the right time for such a person as me!! My mother always trying to appease everyone and make things right. My father the quiet, but all knowing person that knew about so many things finally got a job being a cyclotron supervisor..He supervised one of the first atom smashers owned by the U.S Government and run by Carnegie Tech...now Carnegie Mellon University in Saxonburg, Pa. It was in the very early 60's . Finally after all the terrible times of the sheriff banging on our door. People suing us for debts owed, wolves literally at the door. I remember when a strange car would come up the driveway my mother would tell us run inside and she would close the door!!!..They came and would knock and knock sometimes leave but most times not until my mother would go out. She would always say, "Don't let them look inside or they will take all of our stuff away"...I can't imagine now anyone wanting any of our stuff!!! But, I suppose the repo man would show up and carry the chair out with you in it..That never did happen thanks to my mothers protection. But, one time our dog bit one of the collectors..and he was going to shoot the dog. We grabbed our dog and he ran off.. It was horrible, we lived like common criminals. Our only crime was that our government was not willing to compromise on my fathers bankruptcy of his businesses. I remember one specific time....When we where outside, it was summer. We had a very old Double Dexter Washing Machine with a wringer. An extension cord led to the plug inside and the washing machine was outside under the tree. Both tubs filled with water one for washing and one for rinsing. The water heated from the stove inside and carried out, dumped then dumped into the tubs. First whites, then colors then dark's. The ringer spun around from one tub to the other, it was great and kept us from having to wash our clothes out by hand. Then we would hang the clothes out on the line to dry. One day a man showed up..a collector. We could not run, he caught us in the middle of washing and this particular day the motor caught on fire and flames were shooting out from the machine. Not being an mechanical my mother just put out the fire...and unplugged the machine..while all this was happening, the collector stood and watched the proceedings..He couldn't believe his eyes..He stood speechless watching...and finally came over and introduced himself. He explained he was there to collect a debt...but then he turned and said. "My wife complains about her dish washer when it isn't working ..I should bring her out here and see how lucky she is." We never saw that guy again. He left shaking his head in unbelief...I guess the debt was considered PAID!!

GOD IS IN CONTROL OF ALL THINGS...

Can it ever be said, that looking back so many things that happened to you when you were just the smallest of human beings has prepared the way for where you are now!! I know that my life was meant to be just who I am...I trust that I am following the right path to what my maker had in mind...Although the choices I make may and I am almost sure are not the choices God would have picked for me..I have made so many really bad choices for myself!! But, somehow, those choices have brought me to where I am today.. Right or wrong, I am here, now and at the place in life where I need to be!!...I know that all things work together for good, to those who love the Lord and I must say I do love the Lord!!...Actually, He is the only one I can truly trust. He is the one I know will never abandon me when I am in need. He is the one I can go to and tell anything to and He understands...I am sure the love he put inside of me for Him is from Him and He is always there to comfort me. My life has been so many times emotionally abandon by so many people and so many things!...If I had no Heavenly Father to comfort me and help me through those trying times of abandonment, I know without a doubt, I would have been destroyed. His love and comfort got me through some very trying times. I am comforted in knowing that my life is His and in Him I live. I can pursue anything that God brings before me, I can do anything God gives me to carry. In Him is my strength. There is no good thing in me, but the only good in me is because of Him and what He has allowed me to be. If I am good, it is because of God, and if I am bad, it is because of me...My choices many times have been bad, but with His patience and kindness of heart. He waits for me patiently until I can agree that He wants only the best for me and I continue foiling His plan. Now getting closer to the end of my life than the beginning I am finally getting to understand He wants only the best for me. It is I who mix the message. It is I who decide to do things uncomely onto Him. But because He send His son for me..He understands that I am living my life as a human, I sin and He forgives...I finally come to the point of understanding that what He has for me is His best for me..I finally understand that my decisions must be made in his light and not my own. So I wait and let him lead, I follow, it is just like that...I am happy, He is pleased..He never condemns, He instructs...many of those times are hard. Many of those times are sad, but I know that with Jesus, my God is in control there isn't anything I can't do. There isn't anything I can't conquer. He makes me strong, He gives me joy, and he pours His love into me!! Don't ask me how He does it, I am not God! I just do what is laid on my heart! He alone is worthy..and desires to have all the Glory for all the great things He has done..and I so love him for that. I trust him and know he has nothing but good for me!..I keep my eyes off of other people and upon Him, he is my refuge and strength in time of need. I know He is able and willing to keep me until that day I meet him face to face and He peers my way and say.."WELL DONE"!!

THE FIRST DAY OF CHILDHOOD MISERY...

It was one of those cold days of fall, when the leaves were off the trees and the air was filled with the cold blowing wind of winter. My sister, Carole and I arrived home from school...the days were short and darkness arrived early. On this day, the sky was filled with torrents of cold, damp rain. The kind that beats down creating mud puddles and all the dirt has turn to muck. The walk home from the bus was cold and wet. Knowing Mom and Dad were in Pittsburgh selling eggs and wouldn't be back until late. My sister and I were on our own. Looking forward to a warm room and a place to curl up and feel safe. Instead, we walked up the drive way and discovered...all the chickens were out and running around loose. How did they escape? One thing we did know...if my Dad got home and those chickens were out, we were in the biggest trouble of our life...quickly we opened the door threw down our school books and headed out to corral these renegade chickens. Now, I don't know if you have ever tried to corner a chicken...but it is one of the hardest things you will ever do...actually these were still babies and a bit slow on their feet, but still it was going to be a challenge. Something neither of us wanted to face, but knowing the consequences, we must capture the escapees. With the cold rain, pouring down on us and the stormy clouds getting darker and darker every minute. We crawled under the old truck body, slid in the mud, ran through the mud puddles corralling and grabbing at random these chicks as they ran past us...It seemed forever, we slid, rolled and ran cornering these bandits. After what seemed like hours, the light now gone, the rain still dropping and the chill of cold, dark night was on the horizon. Finally we captured them all..wet, tired and freezing we dropped into the safety of our house. Only to find out we had no heat. The cold air wrapped around our wet bodies. Feeling completely abandoned and in such misery now the cold seeped into my skin making wet wrinkles on my body. We had been wrapped in wet clothes for hours...chasing these chickens...My sister and I decided to take off our wet clothes and wrap in anything we could find that would suffice for a blanket. So hungry, tired, shivering my teeth chattering from cold...The darkness consumed us and we finally fell off to sleep...I will never forget that miserable night, I will not ever take for granted the warm, peaceful, feeling of wellness. I pray I never ever have to be miserable like that ever again. I can't imagine and have such compassion for people that encounter that kind of uncomfortableness often...all because they are poor, unable, and forced into a lifestyle not of their choosing...Life deals so many stumbling blocks..in front of us. It is up to us to learn to crawl over them..Oh, yea and by the way, it turned out, we were out of kerosene..my father was proud of us when they got home, we saved the chickens...after going to buy 5 gallon of fuel for our stove from the profits of the day..... finally it got warm. So on now to a new day!! This one is over and we are still alive!!

LOOKING BACK

I can say now.. I understand the pain, suffering and constant turmoil in my parents life when they didn't have means to supply for their family. When your a child you can only see the surface of the problems. You only see how they affect you. But now having raised 6 kids alone, and know what I went through for so many years...the desperation of an everyday chance that things will get better tomorrow...and just get through this day..Without a word, the everyday fight was what I now know my parents suffered. While my father was wiring houses for free to pay for the land we live on...he needed to find a way to feed, his family and pay the bills. I must have been in fourth grade and my sister Carole was in ninth. I'm not sure, but what I do remember so vividly is the day of desperation for us. My parents plan for survival was to go to Butler and buy cases of eggs. We would candle them in the living room and put them in boxes for resale. In case you don't know about candling eggs, you take one egg at a time and set it on a box with a light inside. You can see if the egg has been fertilized by the rooster or if it is good to eat..the light makes the egg see through. Anyway, we candled one by one, placed them in egg boxes. My Mother and Dad would leave early in the morning after we got on the bus for school. They would not return until 8 or 9 at night. They would go to the city of Pittsburgh, sell eggs door to door...for 50 cents a dozen. With the profit my parents tried to pay our bills, that is what we lived on...the small amount of money each dozen of eggs would bring. Mom and Dad would take my little sister Georgetta with them because she was just small and not in school yet..My parents bought a few dozen peeps. They lived in the house with us. We covered with a small light bulb to keep them warm. All night they peeped..I grew to love that sound, it was so calming. I think my parents plans included starting a chicken farm and sell eggs for a living..if we could make our own eggs then our profit would be higher..but being kids, we didn't care anything about any of that...we just loved the peeps..and enjoyed holding those little fuzzy things that were vulnerable and needed us. The days went by and all went well...things were beginning to look up...I can now relate to what my parents went through day after day...trying to keep us fed, clothed and for survival for another day!!!

MY FIRST BOYFRIEND...

My first boyfriend was in fourth grade. His name was Charley Ganster. He had blonde hair and a really cute smile which revealed two big dimples. He lived back Crukshank Road, near my house...My memories of Charley Ganster are still strong. He lived in a much nicer house than I. He even had a swimming pool...In my eyes, only really wealthy people had cement swimming pools...with a diving board, no less. The winter of my fourth grade our school had a dance. Charley asked me to go...the winters in the 50's were gruesome. The township road equipment was not at all like it is today. Plows only came out when there was 12" or more...and sometimes they put cinders on the roads but bascially...you were on your own...People were stuck at every turn, chains came out and bull ropes were in everyones trunk. Everything you might need for rescuing vehicles that found their way into the ditch. I specifically remember that night of the dance. Charley's family had someone that worked for them and he brought Charley to pick me up and drive us to the school. My road had a very steep hill after crossing the creek. If anyone had any hopes of getting to the top in snow they needed to make a run for it when you made the crossing at the bridge. Most everyone would spin and swerve the entire way up...Usually, someone turned sideways and ended up in the ditch that supported hard spring rains. Charley and I sat in the back seat. He had his arm around me. The sky had a dark gloom filled with large, soft white flakes. The air, so cold, the windows were steamed up inside. With the windshield wipers on high..they made a loud slapping noise as they fell down scooping the fresh flakes from the window glass. I felt the car speed up and make a run for the hill. We sat still gritting our teeth, wondering if we were going to make the grade. Spinning and swerving...from side to side...finally we came to a stop. The driver turned to back down the road..and tried again. On our way backing down, we turned sideways and the car slid out of control...down the hill...we finally got stopped and he tried again to make the hill...without any success. The driver turned to let us know, we would have to walk the rest of the way. I was freezing and so was Charley..the snow laid on our eyelashes we scurried up the hill....both scared and knew the walk would be a long one. I felt so bad for Charley, he had to walk me home and then he had to walk all the way back to the car...have frozen..He kissed my cheek and waved goodbye. I guess they got home, I don't remember that...I do know that later that year..Charley and his family moved away to another state. I thought he would be my boyfriend forever...Funny how when you are in fourth grade your expectations are in your small circle of what you know as life. You never think anything will ever change. What you don't realize that, this is just the beginning of things and people that sear their way into your memory...as well as the beginning of a lifelong trend...CHANGE!!

A MEMORIAL DAY TO REMEMBER...

After moving to the country...we had to make all new friends. Our old life was left behind. We were miles away for visits from old neighbors. School was the place to start. I rode the bus on my way to school and during the first year I made my share of friends. I have always been very personable and had no qualms talking openly to everyone. I was friendly and interested in every ones life. I now know, that God placed that gift into me when I was born. He gave me a strange sense of personality. I got to know everyone on the street visited them regularly. Some of them weren't too willing to have me for a friend, but most welcomed me and and we visited. I wanted to be a part of those people that lived near to me. That included the kids in my neighborhood. Being a tomboy and having an out house filled with bugs and spiders, I learned quickly to fear not. When I was 4 or 5 I ate earth worms..( they just taste like gritty dirt.) Now I was challenged to be likable to those around me. On Memorial Day weekend..spring had come and I spend most everyday outside. There were many things to do and places to go. I was new and I wanted to blend in..My neighbor Kathy Ritter lived at the top of the hill on Steiner Bridge Road. I rode the bus with her. She was 2 years older than me and I wanted to impress her. Why and when the bet came to pass, I don't recall...but at some point she dared me to rub poison ivy all over me. My father was not allergic to it, and perhaps I bragged that he could rub it all over him and he would not get it...for whatever reason..I took the dare and rub the new spring leaves of poison over my exposed skin. Within a few days I was covered with the red, seeping rash of poison over my body. In my eyes, down my throat, in my private parts...EVERYWHERE!! As the holiday presented itself. I was completely swallowed up with the poison. My parents had to find a doctor some place that was open on a holiday and they took me to get a shot..I was in misery. I have never itched so much in my entire life, except one time in my 50's when I got the hives, but that is another story...From that day on..I had alot of respect for that little green plant. Now, I find that I too am not allergic to it anymore. I imagine I had such an overdose of the poison in my blood. I have an immunity to it...????I don't know, but I still respect the power of that small, green, three leaved plant..that sits so innocently under the shade of that beautiful woodsy tree.

COUNTRY GIRLS NOW

Now we are officially moved. We have water pumped up from the ground. We have electric paid for by a barter. A barter made by my father and the man we purchased the land from. We have sewage...not the way most people think of sewage but for us it was all we needed. I know now most of us live our lives so over the top. We can survive on so little and still be happy. We really don't need all those things we think we must have or must buy. All of our clothes were hand me downs from cousins or people that knew we were living in hard times. We yelled and jumped up and down thrilled when a garbage bag full of clothes showed up. We anxiously rummaged through it, picking out what would fit us..and what didn't fit, we made it fit. We rolled the waistlines, or cut the bottoms off. We became very inventive when it came to wardrobe exclusives. It was fun, as well as a necessary. We dressed as well as everyone else. We were clean, we didn't smell bad. Our hair was clean and combed. We were thankful for what we had. We carried water from the pump by the bucketfuls. We heated it on the bottle gas stove. We bathed in a tiny metal square sink. We washed and shampooed our hair. Somehow it all worked. We finally realized we had each other and we were alive. Our lives meant something and we had to work to make it better. At night we used a little white potty with a lid. It was carried to the out house by a metal swinging handle. The black wooden handle at the top gave way to a sturdy trip. The outhouse sported two round shaped holes covered with a seat. It sat over a huge dug dirt hole built up on a wooden throne. Toilet paper that usually was taken over by the field mice needing a nest. Spiders in the corners that were safely out of the weather and served as mosquito and fly eaters. It all seemed perfectly normal. We as children didn't relize we were the only people on our street living like squatters but we didn't care, we were fine. We had each other. My mother and father often would shout and argue over our finances. I would hide my head under my pillow and promise when I got big, I would never fight, NEVER. Especially about money. I can say to this day and being married to my husband Ron, we never had even one fight over money...Never a disagreement about funds. We discovered a way we could support one another with what we had and I was free from hiding under my pillow..The promise I made to myself was kept throughout our marriage of 19 years....Soon summer was over and we were settled. We were ready to start school. I would go to Middlesex Twp Grade School. I was in the fouth grade. My teacher, Mrs. Painter was kind, mature and life began anew.

MY MOVE TO THE COUNTRY...

It was the summer of third grade. I had finally finished school for the summer. My father now in trouble with his radio and TV businesses. The IRS forced him to declare bankruptcy and closed his remaining stores. Of course being a kid, we didn't know anything about this..all we knew is that we were moving..away from the city. We were moving to the country. Middlesex Twp. to be exact. During that summer my father purchase a few acres of land with the few thousands of dollars he had left to his name. I remember when we went out to look at the parcel of land. My father made some sort of a deal that he could buy the property from a man that needed some wiring done in some houses..so I think they traded land for labor. However, we accomplished being country bumpkins during that summer. As soon as the school year ended we would trek up to the property and work all day, clearing and cutting brush. We did it all by hand, built a big fire and cut and dragged briar bushes; what seemed like for months..Every day, we drove up Route 8 to Middlesex Twp and worked on our land in Cooperstown. We all were a part of this effort. I was a tom boy so it was fun for me..I enjoyed getting dirty and smelly. I enjoyed the smell of the wood in my hair...we fell fast asleep in the old Dodge panel truck adorned with signs of "Curry Radio and Television" painted on the sides. Some nights I think we didn't come home, we just passed out after having something to eat and fell into a deep sleep til morning than began again. Eventually we got it cleared. Somehow a drive way was dug to pull our old blue trailer in from the West Mifflin trailer park. The truth be know, we looked like a band of gypsies..moving into the wild west. I remember my father discussing the price of putting an electric pole in and having a well dug...any price would have been to much. I think the well driller was Kaufold. He had this old rusty water drill and I am sure my father explained our situation and got some sort of barter thing going with them. I know my parents borrowed and begged money from people that would help us. My parents always very private of funds and things of that nature, we would never know how any of that came about!! But eventually we did have an electric pole placed in right near the driveway of dirt...and moving day came some time that summer. I don't recall how or who dragged the trailer up there..I would now love to know so many things I didn't learn while my parents were still alive and now will never find out. The three of us Carole, Georgetta and myself were now country girls..coming from the city. We were up for many new and exciting years ahead. Survival is something you do, and we were about to start doing it!!..Things were about to get TOUGH!!

A VERY SNOWY DAY...

Whenever winter comes in Pennsylvania and the snow starts to come down in streams I remember. You know that big, fluffy, flakey snow that fills the air around you. Suddenly it covers everything around you. It's that kind of snow that comes down so big, so fast it sticks to your eyelashes when you blink. It surrounds everything. It has no consideration of what it might stick to and conceal..Covering everything until the air is filled with that silent hush...that soft sound of quiet winter...Birds don't tweet, dogs don't bark and the wind blows only to pile the soft, white flakes in heaps. It usually happens at least once a winter when everyone shuts down. Schools closed, no work, people just forced to stay home and enjoy the day or night...The neighborhood is quiet, the cars cease to make even a track on the road through the new laid snow...It was that kind of day I will never forget. It was probably the strangest of all weather phenomenon. I was about 5 when I started first grade. In 1950 people there wasn't any testing done, if your mother felt it was time to enter school...You entered school..No matter what!...Anyway, I remember that night when it started to snow. Bigger than ever flakes, piling up on everything. At night it fell through the moonlight and softly blocked out the light into a muted gray..looking out the window we all thought we would be buried by morning. Going to bed we knew we would all be in for a surprise come morning. The next morning there was so much snow it completely covered the cars to where you could barely see them...The door to our add on living room wouldn't open...we had to push it until we could slither through a small space out into the snow covered earth. There was so much snow stacked against it...WE WERE LITERALLY SNOWED IN!! What excitement filled the house, the trailer park, the entire neighborhood as everyone made their way out the door to only find no starting place to begin the day...The day was about 50 some inches of snow fell that night..over 5' of snow. It was AWESOME!! Snow blowers hadn't been invented yet and shovel were everyone only resort...We made a path way with the shovel to get out...and throughout the day my sister and I tunneled through the new fallen snow...with our hands the way you do in sand, we carved out scoop by scoop a maze of tunneled paths throughout the yard and behind. The snow was over our heads, the cool blue color shined through as the suns rays seeped through the snow carved roof...The silence was all around!! It was like going through a maze of cold cotton..I remember that day, when I see those big flakes coming down but have never since seen such a wonderful day of complete awe struck beauty...carved out by our own hands...After a few days the ceiling all fell in and the snow began to melt..but our memories of that wonderful fun filled day will live forever!!

SOMETIMES BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE...

I remember one summer day all the mothers were whispering and talking amongst themselves. The air was filled with anger and sadness. Being only 6 or 7 years old, nobody was ready to share what the problem was and why everyone was out and upset. Life was much easier in the 50's as you can imagine. People were generally kind, and did the right things only because that is the way people acted then. A handshake meant as much as a notary seal. Honesty was never challenged and it just was taken for granted. People were basically honest. I never knew anyone that lied, or cheated, or did harm!...You could count on people, you could trust people and you just knew people were helpful. We all treated each one including our neighbor as we would ourselves. We knew our neighbors we took food we cooked over to them when they didn't feel well. It was a totally different world...On this particular day, it seems one of the boys in the trailer park had been missing the entire day...His parents were looking for him everywhere and nobody could find him...He was a young teenager boy. He played release with us every summer night and was just a normal kid. Now he had disappeared...I also remember the fire trucks that had come and parked at the bottom of the parking lot that led into the woods. They were on a search for this boy...the fireman loaded with flashlights disappeared into the woods..The search had begun!..The mothers and fathers waited for word of the boys welfare. The kids continued to play and didn't pay any attention to all the upset of the day...Then I remember one of the mothers began to cry loudly...all the other mothers consoled her with kind words. It seemed someone had tied the boy to a tree deep into the woods..left him there all day. It seemed the older boys took him tied him up and did perverted things to him...tortured him with sticks and did sexual things to hurt him. The fireman found the boy, tied, bleeding and unconscious on the tree....The entire place was in shock, who could have done a thing like this...This kind of thing never happened, never. People wouldn't have thought of being so cruel to another human being!!..This boy was innocent, a person victimized by torture...He was taken to the hospital...All the mothers were appalled that anything like this could happen...Suddenly, everyone was on high alert for safety. The bubble had been broken..Innocence has passed...Now that trust broken. A new word was about to usher in...Now bad things would happen to good people...The seal was broken...Trust no longer ruled and reigned...It had begun!!! Nothing anymore was sacred!!!....Evil sewed its way into our little neighborhood!!!

A PARADE UNLIKE THE ROSE BOWL PARADE

When I was probably in second or third grade we still were living in West Mifflin and I was attending Walnut Grove School. I can still recall what the school looked like as well as my teachers. My second grade teacher was Miss Bashista..I imagine she was never married because she was older and had a bit of grey hair mixed in with the brown.. My third grade teacher was Miss Manandice. She was quiet, tall, thin and in her forties. For some reason back then, teachers were not married...thus getting the name..."Old school marm, or spinster." Most of my teachers were not married but as I got older and graduated into high school them were.

One summer day, I guess we were all bored and found nothing much to do, someone came up with the idea of all the kids in the trailer park getting together and instrumenting a parade. It might have been my older sister because she seemed to have a large part of telling everyone what they were going to do! However, we worked and worked on this parade. The route it would take, who would be which character, and costumes. The theme was every holiday in the year....I think back now and think, "This was pretty ingenious." It took weeks to work up costumes for Santa Claus, Father Time, and the Uncle Sam costume was really good. I wish I had a photo or two of the parade, but the only one I have is in my mind. The person in front had a big sign...announcing the parade. No doubt it was a Sunday afternoon when most everyone were home. Back in the fifties, people never worked on Sunday. It was the day of rest and everyone did just that. No stores were open, everything was shut up and stopped until Monday morning. My character in the parade was to be Susan B. Anthony....she was the one that fought for the right for women to vote...I remember I had a big hat and a green striped blouse. I wore white gloves. I can recall in my minds eye exactly what I looked like and how we looked marching down the street. When we passed the few people that lined the street. They clapped at our marvel of inspiration. There is just something about seeing a child perform, something that an adult forgets they have. A true sense of imagination, a wondrous mind of "can do!"...Children are wonders of God, he gave them the fresh innocent love that only can dwell inside. A wonder of people, places and things. The joy of being able to say exactly what is on your mind, even if it is insulting. It is always taken and enjoyed from that child like mind....Somewhere along the path of adulthood we all lose that. Some place along life, that child like faith is looked down on...People have raised the bar. People have destroyed the innocence of that child like faith.....If an adult would say things like a child they would be held accountable and made known to be insulting or crude. How sad, children are ingenious, children are the future!!

A NEW YEAR-1946-2009

This is a new year..I will be 63 this January and know that everyday I live is closer to the last. So I better get busy because I have so much to tell..NEW is all about life, the newness of life is in Christ but I don't want to get ahead of myself. So back to when I was a kid!...When I was small, New Years Eve had a different meaning..In the early fifties people felt new hope. The war was over and our country was on a new track. New inventions, new ways of life. Old things are now passed away and now women could stay home with their families and men worked...Unlike during the war..people stood in line for sugar, gas was rationed and people live everyday as if could be their last! That was over now, finished, everyone had new hope to move on. That is why there was such a baby boom, women wanted to get out of the factories and back in the kitchen. Therefore the apron was a new and most popular attire of clothing...Women baked, cooked, canned, and cleaned with joy! It was their place, a place they desired. Men felt like the bread winner and had a sense of pride that our country was back on track. We had conquered and been through another World War. Men came home bent and broken but with a new heart and a new sense of pride..Life was good again babies and more babies were born to be nurtured in their homes that now would be rebuilt. Life reinvested, children happy to play. There was NO TV.. only on Saturday cartoons and all in black and white. Early morning cowboys...the good cowboys always wore the white hats! I remember so well getting up at 7 am and turning on the 5' screen to watch a black and white cowboy show. Saturday was TV day, morning only. The rest of the time a round circle overlaid in black circles and a piercing loud high hum...called the test pattern was shown. After a while a few new shows would appear in the evening...But they were few and far between..It was an amazing thing to be able to see anything right in your living room...on a small little screen. People were happy, things were simple and life was good! Men had jobs, women were happy to be Moms and kids played and ran and had no fear of the evil ways of the world..Most everyone was thankful to be alive. Happy for life and able to once again survive. It seems strange now to look back and see the difference in attitude for a people that were thankful for everything. An attitude of gentle suffering and life worth living....to the present attitude of being owed everything. Greedy and selfish. The "ME" attitude that people carry around so prevalently now...So a NEW YEAR now a total time of complete celebration...A CELEBRATION OF LIFE AND SURVIVAL!! Thankful and joyful for a new beginning. Another chance to start over and make new!!

NEW YEARS EVE'S TO REMEMBER

New Years Eve never really was a huge holiday in my family even when I was a kid!! I do remember we were allowed to stay up past midnight and our big night was to take my mothers pots and pans out of the kitchen..with big spoons and bang them until our little hands were numb...We also greeted the new day with a display of clanging lids...pounding like cymbals...any kind of noise, yelling, emotion was allowed that night and we seemed to do our share!! But as wild and crazy as those New Years Eve's were, the most memorable were the ones I spent after I was a Christian...We would attend "Watch Night Service" at our church. Our pastor, Ron Bailey, would spend the evening greeting everyone and then we would pray the New Year in at the Altar...On our knees, we would as a church, lay our requests, praise, and adoration of getting us through the past year unharmed and blessed to laying our new praises, and adorations to God for a new and upcoming year...We prayed for one another, we prayed for our families...People just prayed out loud as the Spirit led and it was a wonderful warm time of fellowship. We spent the entire evening with worship, singing and at midnight we all were on our knees...desiring all that God had for us!! Opening our hearts to listen to His voice and lay on our hearts His direction for our lives during another up and coming year...After the service..some families went home, or invited a few friends over for snacks or late supper...But most of us with small families decided to finish off the night with entertainment...Some years we went all night bowling, some years it was roller skating, always a wonderful time of fellowship with the families of those you loved and spent many hours with during Sunday and Wednesday services...It was a family, a family of believers..a family of like people that laughter, excitement and enjoyment filled the night...A magaical night that ended with the sun rising, babies sleeping and parents heading home after a long cold winters night of excersize of one form or another...Those were the most precious times seeing another year in with people around me that I loved and loved me!!...Those days have passed and memories of a closer tie to people you knew... will never be broken...For those days and times I am thankful for the close and warm fellowship!! A fellowship that only God and his love can present...Only on a special day like a NEW YEAR!!...I will always remember the fun, the joy and the love we shared year after year!!!

ALL ABOUT CHRISTMAS...

It's been too long, I've been away and now I have to catch up!...Visiting, holidays, and a busy life have dragged me away from my daily blogging...Christmas Eve is too important not to share some good memories. So here we go..

When we lived in the trailer park, back in the early 50's...We had a small edition built onto our little, blue, round trailer. It was white and the size of one room. This served as our living room and this is where we set up the Christmas tree. Every year, not one thing ever appeared until Christmas Day. No decorations, no presents, no wrapping, everything was just a normal day...Then on Christmas Eve, magically, everything came into play. The world turned into fantasyland. When you awoke you anticipated the wonderous sights of blinking lights, presents under the tree, stockings full of goodies. All done in one night..That was the miracle of Christmas..Besides the baby Jesus, the secular Christmas was as much of a miracle to a little kid!! The wonder of it all...and it happened all over night. Santa had arrived and he did all of this magically...One Christmas my father hid the Christmas tree , the same one he just picked out and bought home on Christmas Eve, behind this little room so we would not see it...Then after we all were in bed asleep, on Christmas Eve my mother and father dragged it in, set it up, and decorated it...all over night. However, this year, our tree would not see a New Year. Christmas morning everyone woke up..parents very sleepy!! My sisters and I anxious to open presents and mull over the ones we saw just sitting under the tree...My mother reached to plug the lights on. All big colored bulbs, multi colored and glowing. These big, old, colored lights created alot of heat. After the screaming of how beautiful everything was and the wonder of a cold, crisp, Christmas morning a strange but yet familiar odor began to flow throughout the little room we sat in. It was not pine! All crowded in this room, now with a decorated Christmas tree, parents, three girls and all the presents...this repulsive smell came spewing out into what should have been the wonderful smell of a holiday morning. Cinnamon rolls, coffee brewing, breakfast cooking...No, instead it was the familiar smell of CAT PEA!!... Oh no, the entire house began to smell like cat pea...Obnoxious cat pea...Had a cat snuck back in the middle of the night and sprayed his scent on our Christmas tree...Apparently so! We all walked around with our thumb and finger clenching our nostrils...and saying...EWWWW!!!...Hurridly, my mother unplugged the beautiful lights that shined all around the room and gave a glow of light and a spirit of warmth. Suddenly our Christmas that year turned into a fiasco. The smell permiated the entire house...the heat of the lights brought the strong smell out and about. There was no way of containing it...Not now, not ever!!!...My father, insisted the tree had to go! We could not live smelling that odor for weeks. So before we even were able to look and see what was on the tree...the undecorating began...The garlands, balls, lights, icicles, and finally the tree was dismantled and dragged out to be placed back in the fresh air for all the neighboring cats to enjoy...and it could smell all it wanted...Thanks to a random act of a roaming cat..our Christmas morning turned out to be one of the most memorable I can ever remember...There are others that come to mind but this one was the one that will always stick in in front of wonderful Christmas memories...We ran the train, we opened our presents, and we enjoyed the rest of the holiday, but without a Christmas tree...Oh well, it didn't quench our spirit...We just went on and were thankful ...when the tree exited...so did the aroma of the fresh, the undeniable, scent of CAT URINE went too...and the rest of Christmas went on without so much as a twitch, but it sure was a story to be enjoyed. It brought many a smile to those we loved that wonderful Christmas Holiday!

THE DAY OF THE TENT WORMS...

I don't know how many summers we spent going up to Kennerdall. Two, three maybe four but each time there was excitement of some kind...My mother and Mae used to go out in the aluminum boat and fish. They had their fishing licenses on their hats and loaded with bate and poles...One time I specifically remember they returned with nearly 30 suckers..They had little pink mouths that stuck out..they were on stringers and when they returned they were still alive and breathing...It seemed to be a big joke that all they returned with was a stringer of sucker fish. I remember, Frank caught a huge cat fish (he used to go out late at night with a lantern to capture helgramites. I think these were flying bugs)...This fish looked like a whale to me...It was so big they put it in the spring until they could clean it...That catfish looked at least 6' long...I remember when they skinned it, they had to pull the skin off with pliers and it was tough..I remember when Frank killed it...they put a spike on top of it's head and drove it down through it's skull. It boinked back like rubber. Over and over again he tried to penetrate that skull. Finally it broke and the fish died...Those memories stayed with me for a life time...One time my Dad caught a bass and while cleaning it, I watched him...and as he was cleaning it he told me of all the parts he removed...one of these was the fish's heart. I asked him if I could have that heart...He laughed and cut it out and handed it to me on my hand...I also remember watching it beat...right there..it throbbed in the palm of my hand...I held it until the movement stopped. I felt so sad!!..I knew that we would eat the fish, but for the heart to be beating in my hand, made me feel death. I felt the actual death of that fish!! It is hard to explain...but I think compassion dripped into me drop by drop for the first time!!....But the thing I remember most was when I collected a paper bag full of tent worms..I thought they were so beautiful and wore so many beautiful colors on their backs....I spent all day collecting them and putting them in the bag to take home...I have no clue why!! But, I remember packing to go home and my father saying, they better not get out...with a laugh as we drove away...I laid the bag down behind my fathers seat as we started home. Soon, I fell asleep. The bouncing of the van opened the bag one bump at a time. The tent worms..crawled out. All over the van and of course up the back of my fathers seat in the car...Suddenly, I heard him yelling and I woke up!! The tent worms had escaped and entered the back of my fathers neck and his shirt...Not to mention, I was the victim of a huge scolding...and a possible spanking..That I don't remember...I remember only twice, did my father actually spank me ..but the spanking I remember most, happened long after this episode!! Needless to say, my family wasn't in a very good mood trying not to kneel or step on the worms...If you did the squish exuded a bright green goo....Needless to say...IT WAS A LONG TRIP HOME!!

MY FIRST FUNERAL...

When we used to spend the weekends in Kennerdall at Mae and Franks cottage. Everyone looked forward to Friday. We didn't have any pets at that time and for some reason I received an Easter baby duck. It was a little yellow fuzzy duckling and I named him Quack Quack. I really don't remember where he came from or why I had him, I just remember the day he died!!...We were in the trailer park and getting ready to leave to head up to Mae and Franks. When a neighborhood dog, came and attacked poor little Quack, Quack....He shook him, I screamed and the duck was in peril, the dog dropped him and ran. My mother doubted he would live. I picked him up and we put him in a box. We took him with us that weekend. Quack Quack died. I cried. The drive seemed long, I remember and I spent most of it looking at the duck. Wondering how you could be alive one minute and the next minute you were dead...What amazed me is he could be up and running and enjoying life and then because of one grab and a few shakes he lay silent and dead!!...It was so sad, He didn't do anything to that dog. He was just a wonderful duck. I could kiss his head and he liked it....His feathers were so soft and he was old enough to have white, soft feathers ....He was full grown by a few months and now he lay dead!!...When we got up to Mae and Franks I ran and told Mae, we all agreed we would have a funeral for him. They were so kind to know of my sadness...Everyone laughed but it was heart breaking for me...This was my first experience with death...Frank dug a small hole, right along the path that went down to the river...I could even today, take you to the exact spot where Quack Quack lay...We lined the hole with big green leaves and flowers....We slowly and with much love laid Quack Quack in the hole and we covered him with leaves and flowers....finally after saying goodbye. We covered him up with the dirt that laid on the side of the hole...I watched while the dirt fell over him and went to the bottom of the hole and fell onto the leaves...Finally one shovel at a time. We no longer could see him. The dirt covered him completely...I felt such a feeling of loss and despair...I lost a very good friend...My pet duck!! My Quack Quack...We took a few branches and shaped them into a cross and wound dandelion stems in and out of the wood where the cross met. Gracefully we posed it into the soft dirt at the head of the grave...It was done. My Quack Quack was gone, his life was finished and I was without his love...and he was without mine...I spend much of that weekend watching that grave...Every time I walked by, I said a little "Goodbye Quack Quack"....My first loss of a loved one...I remember so strongly every detail...Things that happen to us during our life are a precursor to prepare us for times we may have to experience..Times that help us get through bigger and stronger feelings of loss...How good God is to let us feel emotions and prepare us for what we might need before the day we need it!!

MAE AND FRANK'S COTTAGE

Our drive to Kennerdall was a regular weekend event...Our summers were consumed with packing clothes, food, and games stuffed into my fathers old red van...with Curry Radio and Television..painted on the sides. We would leave on Friday night. It took an few hours. After the clock with the ears...(half way)...we took winding roads that soon led us to a crossroads..and an old general store...called May's...up about 5 steps and into a creeky wooden floor. We walked around and tried to beg stuff out of our folks for the weekends...Sometimes without much sucess...After we went into the store..the road led down and wound around the tall hills lines with fir trees and mountain laurel...It just smelled like fresh, cool, moist air. We drove down until the road seemed to end. But actually the road just ran right through the creek...through a large concrete tunnel. The tunnel supported the railroad tracks that ran to Erie...through the tunnel the mountain crystal clear water ran wildly through the tunnel...The water was rushing from the mountain to the Allegheny River in Kennerdall.Driving through the tunnel, the van rocked and swayed...slowly we drove right through the water and came out on the other side...The road lifted right out of the water and slowly turned from mud to dry dirt. We followed that road for about a mile. Past cottages, trees, and wild animals crossing in front of us...Owls sat in the trees looking down at us...We finally saw the post with the red reflector on it and knew we were finally there...Piling out, stiff and needing a good run...we were greeted with a smile and a warm Hello. Mae and Frank had no small children. Frank had a daughter to his first wife that died...She was grown. He married Mae and they had none. So, I think we made their weekend less than a quiet boring weekend. We came full of noise, laughter, and as much confusion as we could muster....The cottage had a little porch, with a screen door that banged when you let it go. Inside one big room with a cooking stove, sink, table and chairs. With some faded red curtains on wires...the curtains were pulled open but shut when the kids went to bed....The adults stayed up and played cards or just sat and talked...The beds were bunk beds three high. Both sides were double mattresses...so the cottage actually slept 12 people. Frank built them and the top bunk you couldn't even sit up without hitting the ceiling..but it was fun...a ladder leaned on the side to crawl up and down...In the morning, the mist laid over the river and up on the tree filled mountain. Huge bolder like rocks lined the river bank on the other side....nothing but bushes, trees, and rocks...We could watch the deep come down to drink out of the river. There was a spring of ice cold water coming off the mountain sides. We washed our faces in a metal basin...and a pitcher of ice water and red soap....Lifebouy!! After getting washed and dressed. Everything was damp and the mist covered everything outside..Brushing teeth and spitting out side was just fun!!! Then Mae made breakfast. The smells of the sausage..and bacon, eggs, and pancakes...all wonderful memories...of our weekend days in the mountains..On Sunday afternoon, everyone cleaned up, got dressed and off we went home. Stopping always at the Dairy Queen south of Butler on Route 8...Sometimes things that take you away from the norm of life are memories to last for a lifetime....

WEEKENDS IN KENNERDALE

Memories are a wonderful tool. We shouldn't dwell on them, but it seems to help form us into the person we are!..I think the Buddhists believe we come into this world as a clean slate...whatever person we turn into it is our fingerprint. How we are raised, our circumstance, and things that come to us through the years....I personally believe, when we appear out of our mothers womb..Our personality is truly branded upon us. We are the person we are and will be. I also believe many things will form and knead you into the person you are...But, I also believe we are led by a loving God, the one who did make us...good or bad, healthy or sick, alive or dead...It is all in the entire plan...I know things that happened to me, I am sure, helped form me into the person I am. But with all that stripped aside, I still am the person God made me!! In his image..looking at the BIG picture!! During the time we lived in the trailer park. We met a a lady with our same last name, Curry. Her name was Mae...When my sister Jetta, was born, my mother had diaper service. Now for those of you who have never heard of it...A truck used to come to the door. There was a little diaper pail, with a smelly good thing, in this diaper pail, after having the diapers rinsed out in clear water...they were picked up by the delivery man. These dirty ones were replaced with new, fresh, clean, white cloth diapers...I realize many of you have no clue that anyone did this. They used to wash, bleach, rinse and hang them out in the sun...line after line after line...I myself was privileged to do this for many years..(six kids later)...Pampers were just invented in the late sixties...and they were very expensive...you used them only to go out!! There were many days, I would run out of diapers visiting my mothers house and she would pin a kitchen towel on the baby. Well back to new friends. The diaper man went to the wrong Curry's. He visited Mae's house...She informed him she did not have any children, let alone a baby...This led her to believe another family in the park had her same last name...Frank, her husband, and Mae became our closest friends. They had a camp in Kennerdale. North of Pittsburgh along the Allegheny River. It took what seemed a very long time to get there..When we got to Butler, I would remark, "Look, we are half way there, there is the clock with the ears". That clock still stands!! We went to their camp every weekend!! A trip away from the trailer park...A trip to the country was a wonderful treat..and full of so many memories...The door opened for us, to learn new things and be apart of God's wonderful back woods existence. Some thing we knew nothing about!! But, are going to learn!!!

STORIES OF CURIOSITY...OVER THE TOP!!

The real strange thing about curiosity is it can be good or bad!! It can be benificial or very harmful!!..I recall many of my curious times...when I was little. One time in particular was when, we were still living in the trailer park, I put a snake under a car tire and when the car went over the snake it smashed it and there were about 1,000 babies in the snake. It was amazing to see all those little snakes that just came squishing out of her..We had no clue that the snake was with baby snakes nor did we anticipate the way we would feel when we saw her squished. I must admit, it was an amazing experience...See the snake dead, squished and also seeing all these babies dead that came out of her..It made me feel so sad, even though we picked through them and spent time investigating the slaughter, it stuck in my mind and it always makes me feel sad when I think of it....Another times we got together and captured wasps and bees in jars with other insects like lightning bugs, praying mantisis, and other beetles. Waiting and watching to see, after a battle of the bugs, who would still be alive. Which bugs would survive and win the battles...these were all curious things we felt important..Other things, I am not proud of doing, is ripping the lights out of those poor little lightning bugs and wearing them as rings and taking the lights and smearing them on us while we glowed in the dark....I think all kids have a bit of sadist in them...and it all falls under the heading of curiosity... It also takes on the physical. I was about six years old and behind the wash house there were wire clothes lines strung from concrete poles. There must have been about 20 of them or more...these lines looked like tight rope lines...tempting me to walk them...so I shinned up the concrete pole and walked the wires...I was very active and had a remarkable sense of balance as well as rythum...I attribute that to my dancing lessons, tumbling, ballet etc. So I saw no problem to attempt to walk on the wire...they were pretty thick and seemed stable enough to walk across, so I did. One day while tightrope walking my mother came looking for me and found me walking the wire...She always told the story of how she held her breathe and didn't dare yell at me....fearing I would lose my balance and come tumbling down while splitting myself into...But, that never even entered my mind. Looking back now, I can't believe I was as brave and unfearful as I was...I still am unfearful...and do many things that other people would not even think of doing...and I have no problem attempting or doing it!!! I just think I can do anything.....if I try and fail, I try again...I am one of those people, I guess, when the door closes....I don't think of shrinking to the corner and forget about it...Instead of looking for a window to crawl out ....I just knock the door down and go through without hesitation!!! I know this is a God given talent for I didn't know what God had in mind for my life...I needed to be ready to accept things that were going to be presented to me...in the future...Little did I know, what God had in store!!! But He and He alone could prepare me what I was going to have to face!! I thank Him for preparing me...and giving me the tools to survive!!