THE DOUBLE DEXTER WASHING MACHINE...

Can it ever be said, that looking back so many things that happened to you when you were just the smallest of a human being has prepared the way for where you are now!! I know it is true for me..My entire life has been like a puzzle laid out on a big table and one piece at a time was placed just in the perfect spot...Many pieces had to be spun around and tried several different ways but in the end..the perfect spot was found and the piece fit correctly...things I now see were just the right time for such a person as me!! My mother always trying to appease everyone and make things right. My father the quiet, but all knowing person that knew about so many things finally got a job being a cyclotron supervisor..He supervised one of the first atom smashers owned by the U.S Government and run by Carnegie Tech...now Carnegie Mellon University in Saxonburg, Pa. It was in the very early 60's . Finally after all the terrible times of the sheriff banging on our door. People suing us for debts owed, wolves literally at the door. I remember when a strange car would come up the driveway my mother would tell us run inside and she would close the door!!!..They came and would knock and knock sometimes leave but most times not until my mother would go out. She would always say, "Don't let them look inside or they will take all of our stuff away"...I can't imagine now anyone wanting any of our stuff!!! But, I suppose the repo man would show up and carry the chair out with you in it..That never did happen thanks to my mothers protection. But, one time our dog bit one of the collectors..and he was going to shoot the dog. We grabbed our dog and he ran off.. It was horrible, we lived like common criminals. Our only crime was that our government was not willing to compromise on my fathers bankruptcy of his businesses. I remember one specific time....When we where outside, it was summer. We had a very old Double Dexter Washing Machine with a wringer. An extension cord led to the plug inside and the washing machine was outside under the tree. Both tubs filled with water one for washing and one for rinsing. The water heated from the stove inside and carried out, dumped then dumped into the tubs. First whites, then colors then dark's. The ringer spun around from one tub to the other, it was great and kept us from having to wash our clothes out by hand. Then we would hang the clothes out on the line to dry. One day a man showed up..a collector. We could not run, he caught us in the middle of washing and this particular day the motor caught on fire and flames were shooting out from the machine. Not being an mechanical my mother just put out the fire...and unplugged the machine..while all this was happening, the collector stood and watched the proceedings..He couldn't believe his eyes..He stood speechless watching...and finally came over and introduced himself. He explained he was there to collect a debt...but then he turned and said. "My wife complains about her dish washer when it isn't working ..I should bring her out here and see how lucky she is." We never saw that guy again. He left shaking his head in unbelief...I guess the debt was considered PAID!!

GOD IS IN CONTROL OF ALL THINGS...

Can it ever be said, that looking back so many things that happened to you when you were just the smallest of human beings has prepared the way for where you are now!! I know that my life was meant to be just who I am...I trust that I am following the right path to what my maker had in mind...Although the choices I make may and I am almost sure are not the choices God would have picked for me..I have made so many really bad choices for myself!! But, somehow, those choices have brought me to where I am today.. Right or wrong, I am here, now and at the place in life where I need to be!!...I know that all things work together for good, to those who love the Lord and I must say I do love the Lord!!...Actually, He is the only one I can truly trust. He is the one I know will never abandon me when I am in need. He is the one I can go to and tell anything to and He understands...I am sure the love he put inside of me for Him is from Him and He is always there to comfort me. My life has been so many times emotionally abandon by so many people and so many things!...If I had no Heavenly Father to comfort me and help me through those trying times of abandonment, I know without a doubt, I would have been destroyed. His love and comfort got me through some very trying times. I am comforted in knowing that my life is His and in Him I live. I can pursue anything that God brings before me, I can do anything God gives me to carry. In Him is my strength. There is no good thing in me, but the only good in me is because of Him and what He has allowed me to be. If I am good, it is because of God, and if I am bad, it is because of me...My choices many times have been bad, but with His patience and kindness of heart. He waits for me patiently until I can agree that He wants only the best for me and I continue foiling His plan. Now getting closer to the end of my life than the beginning I am finally getting to understand He wants only the best for me. It is I who mix the message. It is I who decide to do things uncomely onto Him. But because He send His son for me..He understands that I am living my life as a human, I sin and He forgives...I finally come to the point of understanding that what He has for me is His best for me..I finally understand that my decisions must be made in his light and not my own. So I wait and let him lead, I follow, it is just like that...I am happy, He is pleased..He never condemns, He instructs...many of those times are hard. Many of those times are sad, but I know that with Jesus, my God is in control there isn't anything I can't do. There isn't anything I can't conquer. He makes me strong, He gives me joy, and he pours His love into me!! Don't ask me how He does it, I am not God! I just do what is laid on my heart! He alone is worthy..and desires to have all the Glory for all the great things He has done..and I so love him for that. I trust him and know he has nothing but good for me!..I keep my eyes off of other people and upon Him, he is my refuge and strength in time of need. I know He is able and willing to keep me until that day I meet him face to face and He peers my way and say.."WELL DONE"!!

THE FIRST DAY OF CHILDHOOD MISERY...

It was one of those cold days of fall, when the leaves were off the trees and the air was filled with the cold blowing wind of winter. My sister, Carole and I arrived home from school...the days were short and darkness arrived early. On this day, the sky was filled with torrents of cold, damp rain. The kind that beats down creating mud puddles and all the dirt has turn to muck. The walk home from the bus was cold and wet. Knowing Mom and Dad were in Pittsburgh selling eggs and wouldn't be back until late. My sister and I were on our own. Looking forward to a warm room and a place to curl up and feel safe. Instead, we walked up the drive way and discovered...all the chickens were out and running around loose. How did they escape? One thing we did know...if my Dad got home and those chickens were out, we were in the biggest trouble of our life...quickly we opened the door threw down our school books and headed out to corral these renegade chickens. Now, I don't know if you have ever tried to corner a chicken...but it is one of the hardest things you will ever do...actually these were still babies and a bit slow on their feet, but still it was going to be a challenge. Something neither of us wanted to face, but knowing the consequences, we must capture the escapees. With the cold rain, pouring down on us and the stormy clouds getting darker and darker every minute. We crawled under the old truck body, slid in the mud, ran through the mud puddles corralling and grabbing at random these chicks as they ran past us...It seemed forever, we slid, rolled and ran cornering these bandits. After what seemed like hours, the light now gone, the rain still dropping and the chill of cold, dark night was on the horizon. Finally we captured them all..wet, tired and freezing we dropped into the safety of our house. Only to find out we had no heat. The cold air wrapped around our wet bodies. Feeling completely abandoned and in such misery now the cold seeped into my skin making wet wrinkles on my body. We had been wrapped in wet clothes for hours...chasing these chickens...My sister and I decided to take off our wet clothes and wrap in anything we could find that would suffice for a blanket. So hungry, tired, shivering my teeth chattering from cold...The darkness consumed us and we finally fell off to sleep...I will never forget that miserable night, I will not ever take for granted the warm, peaceful, feeling of wellness. I pray I never ever have to be miserable like that ever again. I can't imagine and have such compassion for people that encounter that kind of uncomfortableness often...all because they are poor, unable, and forced into a lifestyle not of their choosing...Life deals so many stumbling blocks..in front of us. It is up to us to learn to crawl over them..Oh, yea and by the way, it turned out, we were out of kerosene..my father was proud of us when they got home, we saved the chickens...after going to buy 5 gallon of fuel for our stove from the profits of the day..... finally it got warm. So on now to a new day!! This one is over and we are still alive!!

LOOKING BACK

I can say now.. I understand the pain, suffering and constant turmoil in my parents life when they didn't have means to supply for their family. When your a child you can only see the surface of the problems. You only see how they affect you. But now having raised 6 kids alone, and know what I went through for so many years...the desperation of an everyday chance that things will get better tomorrow...and just get through this day..Without a word, the everyday fight was what I now know my parents suffered. While my father was wiring houses for free to pay for the land we live on...he needed to find a way to feed, his family and pay the bills. I must have been in fourth grade and my sister Carole was in ninth. I'm not sure, but what I do remember so vividly is the day of desperation for us. My parents plan for survival was to go to Butler and buy cases of eggs. We would candle them in the living room and put them in boxes for resale. In case you don't know about candling eggs, you take one egg at a time and set it on a box with a light inside. You can see if the egg has been fertilized by the rooster or if it is good to eat..the light makes the egg see through. Anyway, we candled one by one, placed them in egg boxes. My Mother and Dad would leave early in the morning after we got on the bus for school. They would not return until 8 or 9 at night. They would go to the city of Pittsburgh, sell eggs door to door...for 50 cents a dozen. With the profit my parents tried to pay our bills, that is what we lived on...the small amount of money each dozen of eggs would bring. Mom and Dad would take my little sister Georgetta with them because she was just small and not in school yet..My parents bought a few dozen peeps. They lived in the house with us. We covered with a small light bulb to keep them warm. All night they peeped..I grew to love that sound, it was so calming. I think my parents plans included starting a chicken farm and sell eggs for a living..if we could make our own eggs then our profit would be higher..but being kids, we didn't care anything about any of that...we just loved the peeps..and enjoyed holding those little fuzzy things that were vulnerable and needed us. The days went by and all went well...things were beginning to look up...I can now relate to what my parents went through day after day...trying to keep us fed, clothed and for survival for another day!!!

MY FIRST BOYFRIEND...

My first boyfriend was in fourth grade. His name was Charley Ganster. He had blonde hair and a really cute smile which revealed two big dimples. He lived back Crukshank Road, near my house...My memories of Charley Ganster are still strong. He lived in a much nicer house than I. He even had a swimming pool...In my eyes, only really wealthy people had cement swimming pools...with a diving board, no less. The winter of my fourth grade our school had a dance. Charley asked me to go...the winters in the 50's were gruesome. The township road equipment was not at all like it is today. Plows only came out when there was 12" or more...and sometimes they put cinders on the roads but bascially...you were on your own...People were stuck at every turn, chains came out and bull ropes were in everyones trunk. Everything you might need for rescuing vehicles that found their way into the ditch. I specifically remember that night of the dance. Charley's family had someone that worked for them and he brought Charley to pick me up and drive us to the school. My road had a very steep hill after crossing the creek. If anyone had any hopes of getting to the top in snow they needed to make a run for it when you made the crossing at the bridge. Most everyone would spin and swerve the entire way up...Usually, someone turned sideways and ended up in the ditch that supported hard spring rains. Charley and I sat in the back seat. He had his arm around me. The sky had a dark gloom filled with large, soft white flakes. The air, so cold, the windows were steamed up inside. With the windshield wipers on high..they made a loud slapping noise as they fell down scooping the fresh flakes from the window glass. I felt the car speed up and make a run for the hill. We sat still gritting our teeth, wondering if we were going to make the grade. Spinning and swerving...from side to side...finally we came to a stop. The driver turned to back down the road..and tried again. On our way backing down, we turned sideways and the car slid out of control...down the hill...we finally got stopped and he tried again to make the hill...without any success. The driver turned to let us know, we would have to walk the rest of the way. I was freezing and so was Charley..the snow laid on our eyelashes we scurried up the hill....both scared and knew the walk would be a long one. I felt so bad for Charley, he had to walk me home and then he had to walk all the way back to the car...have frozen..He kissed my cheek and waved goodbye. I guess they got home, I don't remember that...I do know that later that year..Charley and his family moved away to another state. I thought he would be my boyfriend forever...Funny how when you are in fourth grade your expectations are in your small circle of what you know as life. You never think anything will ever change. What you don't realize that, this is just the beginning of things and people that sear their way into your memory...as well as the beginning of a lifelong trend...CHANGE!!

A MEMORIAL DAY TO REMEMBER...

After moving to the country...we had to make all new friends. Our old life was left behind. We were miles away for visits from old neighbors. School was the place to start. I rode the bus on my way to school and during the first year I made my share of friends. I have always been very personable and had no qualms talking openly to everyone. I was friendly and interested in every ones life. I now know, that God placed that gift into me when I was born. He gave me a strange sense of personality. I got to know everyone on the street visited them regularly. Some of them weren't too willing to have me for a friend, but most welcomed me and and we visited. I wanted to be a part of those people that lived near to me. That included the kids in my neighborhood. Being a tomboy and having an out house filled with bugs and spiders, I learned quickly to fear not. When I was 4 or 5 I ate earth worms..( they just taste like gritty dirt.) Now I was challenged to be likable to those around me. On Memorial Day weekend..spring had come and I spend most everyday outside. There were many things to do and places to go. I was new and I wanted to blend in..My neighbor Kathy Ritter lived at the top of the hill on Steiner Bridge Road. I rode the bus with her. She was 2 years older than me and I wanted to impress her. Why and when the bet came to pass, I don't recall...but at some point she dared me to rub poison ivy all over me. My father was not allergic to it, and perhaps I bragged that he could rub it all over him and he would not get it...for whatever reason..I took the dare and rub the new spring leaves of poison over my exposed skin. Within a few days I was covered with the red, seeping rash of poison over my body. In my eyes, down my throat, in my private parts...EVERYWHERE!! As the holiday presented itself. I was completely swallowed up with the poison. My parents had to find a doctor some place that was open on a holiday and they took me to get a shot..I was in misery. I have never itched so much in my entire life, except one time in my 50's when I got the hives, but that is another story...From that day on..I had alot of respect for that little green plant. Now, I find that I too am not allergic to it anymore. I imagine I had such an overdose of the poison in my blood. I have an immunity to it...????I don't know, but I still respect the power of that small, green, three leaved plant..that sits so innocently under the shade of that beautiful woodsy tree.

COUNTRY GIRLS NOW

Now we are officially moved. We have water pumped up from the ground. We have electric paid for by a barter. A barter made by my father and the man we purchased the land from. We have sewage...not the way most people think of sewage but for us it was all we needed. I know now most of us live our lives so over the top. We can survive on so little and still be happy. We really don't need all those things we think we must have or must buy. All of our clothes were hand me downs from cousins or people that knew we were living in hard times. We yelled and jumped up and down thrilled when a garbage bag full of clothes showed up. We anxiously rummaged through it, picking out what would fit us..and what didn't fit, we made it fit. We rolled the waistlines, or cut the bottoms off. We became very inventive when it came to wardrobe exclusives. It was fun, as well as a necessary. We dressed as well as everyone else. We were clean, we didn't smell bad. Our hair was clean and combed. We were thankful for what we had. We carried water from the pump by the bucketfuls. We heated it on the bottle gas stove. We bathed in a tiny metal square sink. We washed and shampooed our hair. Somehow it all worked. We finally realized we had each other and we were alive. Our lives meant something and we had to work to make it better. At night we used a little white potty with a lid. It was carried to the out house by a metal swinging handle. The black wooden handle at the top gave way to a sturdy trip. The outhouse sported two round shaped holes covered with a seat. It sat over a huge dug dirt hole built up on a wooden throne. Toilet paper that usually was taken over by the field mice needing a nest. Spiders in the corners that were safely out of the weather and served as mosquito and fly eaters. It all seemed perfectly normal. We as children didn't relize we were the only people on our street living like squatters but we didn't care, we were fine. We had each other. My mother and father often would shout and argue over our finances. I would hide my head under my pillow and promise when I got big, I would never fight, NEVER. Especially about money. I can say to this day and being married to my husband Ron, we never had even one fight over money...Never a disagreement about funds. We discovered a way we could support one another with what we had and I was free from hiding under my pillow..The promise I made to myself was kept throughout our marriage of 19 years....Soon summer was over and we were settled. We were ready to start school. I would go to Middlesex Twp Grade School. I was in the fouth grade. My teacher, Mrs. Painter was kind, mature and life began anew.